The Weight Of Losing You
by LM Quin
Summary: Morgana's disappearance weights heavily on Arthur's shoulders. He blames himself for her loss and he will do anything to get her back to Camelot with him again. It's my version of what should have happened after the Fires of Irdisholas. Set after 2x12
1. Lost Then Found

**Title: The Weight Of Losing You**

**Author: LM_Quin**

**Summary: Set after 2x12. Morgana's disappearance weights profoundly on Arthur's shoulders. He blames himself for her loss and he will do anything to get her back to Camelot with him again. It's my version of what should have happened after the Fires of Irdisholas.**

**Word count: 1650 aprox**

**A/N: This is unbeta-ed so all cute mistakes go to me! (if anyone offers to beta-er he/she will become my heroe) lol xD. Ok, enjoy!**

It had been a year. One full year since Morgause had ripped her away from them and every single day of that year, Arthur would wake with the very first vestiges of daylight and lead the search patrol deep not the forest. Each day of those three hundred and sixty five days that a year has Arthur's men would perform the same routine. And every night they would come back to the castle empty handed.

Camelot was weary, the people wounded. Morgana's loss seemed to pierce the Kindom's very own heart right in the middle.

The king was no exception to this feeling of emptiness they were all experiencing. Yes, it was true that, as a king, it was his duty to pull forward whatever power of will he had left to rule the Kingdom but it was at plain sight how the all mighty and unbreakable Uther was precisely that: broken.

They had all changed drastically after Morgana's disappearance. Gwen, who had served her for years, was now having a hard time figuring out where she belonged. Being by Morgana's side all day and helping her out in every way she could –not just as a servant but as a friend as well- kept her going, it gave her a sense of home. She has had that when her father lived but when Uther had him executed, Gwen found another home in Morgana. She belonged by her side and now that she wasn't there anymore, Gwen felt completely lost and was often seen following other servants around the castle, trying to convince them to let her do some of their chores, just so that she would have something to keep her mind busy with.

Merlin, on the other hand, had become extremely shadowy and quiet. Nobody could really get to him anymore. Not even Gaius. It was as if Morgause had not only kidnapped Morgana but Merlin's joy as well. He was practically a living ghost.

The truth was that no one really knew what had happened that day and the guilt he felt was eating him alive.

That was the reason why Merlin joined the search party every morning. Yes, he was the Prince's manservant but that was actually his perfect excuse to tag along. If they were going to find the King's ward, he had to be there.

Arthur.

The young Prince was a different subject and yet not so different at all.

Morgana's loss weighted in a special way on his shoulders. She was his foster sister, he had known her for all his life, he had grown up with her and yet, when all Camelot fell under a fitful sleep, he had jumped on her, even suspected her.

But no, that wasn't all. What weighted on him the most was that he had left her unprotected and she had been kidnapped because of his carefulness. He had been so wrapped up in protecting the King that he had forgotten to protect his father's ward, his sister, and so when the knights toppled lifeless to the floor he had burst into the throne room and called his father's name.

It was only when he received a positive reply that his eyes landed on the figure laying limp on Morgause's arms.

Morgana.

He would never forgive himself for it, for leaving her alone when she needed him most, for thrusting her practically into Morgause's clasp.

Morgana wasn't gone. It was he who had lost her.

And now he found himself leading the search party, giving a few commands here and there, looking everywhere, following even the darkest of shadows to find her.

He wouldn't give up on her. He owed her as much.

He would keep on searching for her even if it meat throwing his life away in vain. It was either that or going mad with grieve and guilt and he would have none of that, no. he would find her.

Night fell on them as it often happened when they went too deep into the forest. Now it was too late to go back to Camelot. Without the sunlight to guide them through the forest the journey back home could be as deadly as jumping off a cliff. Arthur knew that all too well and that was why he gave the order to stop for the night.

They made camp n a small clearing, quite near a nameless lake that Arthur had found rather intriguing. Merlin cooked them dinner as it was expected of him and then, one by one, they all began to retire for the night.

Arthur was the last one to get up from his place by the fire. Ever since Morgana had been missing sleep would elude him and so he learnt to sleep fewer hours during the night.

However, he did need some sleep to carry through the day so he got up and looked for a place near the fire to lay close by.

He rested his head on the hard ground and closed his eyes. The last thought that ran through his mind was the pale green eyes of a certain raven haired young woman.

The rustle of leaves beside him caused Arthur to wake. He opened his eyes groggily and found that the night was as its fullest. He had to adjust his eyes to the dim light coming from the fire in order to see anything.

When his blurry vision cleared somewhat he looked around. His knights were all sleeping soundly and so was Merlin.

"Must have been the wind" he muttered, feeling his eyes beginning to shut closed once more.

His head was about to collide with the ground when the rustling sound made him jump to his feet and adopt a predatory stance. Whatever sleep remained in him was abruptly gone and was now replaced by his full alert. There was something moving in the shadows of their camp and he was going to find out what it was.

Arthur tried to train his ears for other any possible sound as he went about scouting the campsite. He had unsheathed his sword and was now using it as a pointer to lead his way through the bushes.

The sound of footsteps made Arthur spin around in a frantic attempt at finding the source of it. The sound appeared to have come from some behind bushes just at the opposite side of the campsite. The princeling gave a few steps towards the bushes, sword held firmly in his hand.

As he began to approach the place a black figure, covered by the dark veil of night, emerged from its hiding spot and made a run for it.

"Stop!" Arthur half screamed half muttered and broke into a run to chase down the creature.

The intruder was fast but Arthur was faster. It didn't take him long to spot whomever he was chasing heading deep into the forest. And into the lake.

As he chased the intruder through the forest, Arthur cursed himself for not having woken his knights. Yes, it was just one person, and by the look of it he was unarmed but one never knew. What he thought could be a race to trap the intruder could end up in him being the one trapped. It was still dark, probably three or two hours until dawn, and the prospect of having to fight the intruder's allies didn't sound too good to him. He really wished he had warned his men.

The Prince noticed that the trees were wearing thin. That could only mean that they were slowly nearing the border of a clearing or, as Arthur well knew, the lake.

That lake was wide enough, whoever it was that he was running after, would be trapped between the water and his sword. He liked that plan.

Just as Arthur had predicted, the intruder run straight into his trap and found himself with no means of escape. The water extended until the line of the horizon and being outside the protection of the forest meant that the running had ended. Now it was time to face Prince Arthur.

And Arthur's sword.

The princeling knew that his prey couldn't keep on escaping anymore. Unless said escape meant ending impaled in his sword, that is, and so he emerged from the trees a little breathless but finding strength in the idea of putting the chase an end. When he did, he found himself stepping on a narrow sand shore that covered the space between the tree line and the water of the lake.

His eyes immediately met the silhouette of the intruder who was standing with his back to him. Under the moonlight vision wasn't too accurate and so Arthur had to step closer to his enemy to make out his appearance.

The intruder was staring at the lake and was oblivious to his presence, knowing that it would be impossible to swim to the other side without drowning in the process.

Admitting defeat at least, he turned around and slowly came face to face with Prince Arthur.

The sight that met him made him gasp.

"Morgana?"

**Okaay guys! So this is the end of chapter one, possibly the first of many others. That is if people want me to continue, of course. So please please, give me some feedback cuz im starving and if im starved then I haz no strength to write the next chapter. Ok that excuse was lame xD just let me know what you think!**


	2. The Man Above The Surface

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, sadly.**

**A/N: I'm sorry that it took me this long to post an update, I've been going nuts with my finals and viding and you know.. life. But I'm hoping to make it up to you with a 3.500 word long update, its twice longer than the first one *winks* This is still unbeta-ed so all pretty mistakes go to me :) if anyone volunteers as a beta he/she will be forever thanked!**

**Ok, enjoy now!**

**I**

She was standing at an arm's length away from him, wearing a pretty much ruined dress. Her hair was all tousled and had a few leaves stuck in it. She was dirty and had a wild look on her face. Arthur interpreted it as fear.

She was afraid of him.

"Morgana, it's me" Arthur said, taking a cautious step closer to her.

Morgana seemed not to recognize him and took a step away from him, and into the water. She turned around to see that she had stepped into the lake and then turned her head back to the man closing dangerously in on her.

"Get away from me" She whispered in a strangled voice, fear getting the best of her.

Arthur's brows knitted together in worry.

"Morgana, don't you recognize me?" he asked, trying to hide the hurt in his voice "It's me, it's Arthur"

He lifted one of his hands to try and touch her cheek but, just when he was about to, her voice froze his movement.

"Arthur?" she asked inwardly as realization struck her.

Morgana's haunted green eyes met crystal blues before her world turned completely black.

**II**

When Arthur walked back into camp he found that all his knights were up. Some were pacing nervously while others were simply staring into the flames of the fire, seemingly lost in their own thoughts.

The moment the Prince made himself visible and walked out of the shadows that the trees provided him with, Merlin's head snapped around and met his eyes.

"There he is!"

"Arthur!"

In less than a heartbeat his men were surrounding him, asking him questions, looking at him with worried expressions, but he had eyes for only one person. And that person was lying unconscious in his arms.

"Is that..?" Merlin asked, eyes pointing to Morgana's limp figure cradled securely in the Prince's arms.

Arthur nodded dimly, his eyes never leaving Morgana's frail form.

"Is she…?" Gwaine prodded, his face lurking close to Arthur's as he goofily tried to get a better look at Morgana's hidden face.

Arthur moved out of his way with a menacing look and growled "Course not, Gwaine!" He carried Morgana's limp body over to his bedroll and knelt down on the floor to carefully lay her down over it "She just lost consciousness" He said in a quiet, lifeless voice. Who he was trying to convince was harder to say.

The Prince contemplated the Lady Morgana sleeping peacefully over his bedroll for a few moments. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. She looked like an angel and by the Gods he had missed her. He brushed a stray curl away from her pale face affectionately and gently ran his knuckles down the length of her cheek.

"Everything's gonna be ok now. I'm going to look after you" He whispered to the sleeping beauty and she seemed to have heard his words because she moved a little in her sleep.

"How did you find her, sire" Merlin's crouching presence startled him a little but he recovered quickly enough to hide it from his manservant.

"It's a long story" Arthur replied, never once leaving Morgana's face out of his sight. In truth it wasn't such a long story but he was bone tired, both mentally and physically and the prospect of retelling the events of the night seemed to be more than what his mind could process at the time "I'll tell you on the way back to Camelot" Arthur promptly stood up and headed towards his men without a second glance back to Merlin "We need to take the Lady Morgana back to the castle" He said, catching all his men's attention "We don't know if she is injured or if she needs medical assistance from Gaius… We don't know what she's been through or what she has had to… to…" Angst threatened to close his throat and stop him from finishing his sentence "…or what she has had to endure. We have to take her back home" He managed to say before the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes could come rolling down his cheeks.

To his fortune, the knights all stayed in silence, respecting their Prince's sorrow and allowing him a moment to grieve the loss of his sister. When Arthur finished speaking they nodded and silently began to gather their belongings to head back to Camelot. They all knew him well enough as to sense his restlessness. He could not waste another minute.

Morgana _had_ to be taken back home.

**III**

Camelot's bells rang loudly; breaking the eerie silence of the winter dawn as the arrival of Prince Arthur and his men was announced throughout the Kingdom. News spread as fast as the wind blew: the Lady Morgana had returned.

Arthur's party was received by a restless King - who practically ran to meet his son and beloved ward- , the court physician: Gaius and a crowd of nervous-looking servants and maids. They all seemed rather shocked at the presence of the Prince carrying a still unconscious Morgana.

Uther attempted to take his beloved ward from Arthur's strong grip but the involuntarily look that the princeling gave to his father left no room for discussion. No one was to get near Morgana.

It was pretty obvious to everyone by now that Arthur held himself number one responsible for Morgana's disappearance and that therefore he was reluctant to confide the girl into any other's arms but his.

Despite his reluctance, Arthur was forced to hand over Morgana to his father so that he could dismount. That fragment of time was enough for anyone brave enough to get closer to the sleeping beauty, said brave one was Gaius who, despite not wanting to disturb the young Prince any longer, had to make an assessment on the Lady's health.

What Gaius saw was enough for him. Morgana was in need of his care so he pointed his head towards his home and both Merlin and Arthur followed him close by.

When they reached the physician's house, Gaius indicated a bed for Morgana to be laid onto and Arthur quickly complied. Then he stepped back, allowing room for the old man to work comfortably.

Gaius examined Morgana for what seemed like an eternity, or at least for Arthur, who paced back and forth the whole time. But when he was finished, the court physician stood up and faced all the presents there.

"Well?" Asked Prince Arthur, clearly on the verge of losing whatever patience he had left.

"Well, sire" Gaius began, his eyes not quite meeting the Prince's "the Lady Morgana doesn't show signs of being physically hurt, aside from a few shallow cuts and bruises. As far as I'm concerned she's perfectly alright but we would have to wait until she wakes up to relax completely"

Before Arthur could sigh in relief, Gaius kept on talking "Now regarding her mental state, sire. We don't know where she was for the past year or what she's been through. You told me yourself that when she saw you on that lake she didn't recognize you. That may be due to some sort of memory loss or a temporal shock _but_ it could also mean that the Morgana we know may be lost to us, forever"

Arthur shook his head as he tried to process the information he was receiving.

"No, that's not true" he hissed, his blue eyes beginning to water dangerously "It's not true" he repeated, desperately trying to convince himself.

Arthur walked over to where Morgana was resting and sat beside her, in a large wooden chair.

"Sire, I'm sorry" Gaius added, getting nearer to the Prince.

Arthur raised his hand to silence the old man, all the while keeping his eyes trained on the sleeping figure on the bed.

"Get out" he asked, anger and hurt overruling him.

"But sire" Merlin, who had kept to himself until now, interrupted him.

"I said, GET OUT!" Arthur turned his head around to look at Gaius and Merlin "Both of you" when the people he considered his friends remained motionless and in silence, Arthur added "Please" At that defeated and weak request, both Gaius and Merlin began to leave the room, leaving him alone with Morgana and his thoughts.

When Arthur felt the door being shut, he leant over the chair and closer to the raven haired beauty.

It was weird – he thought – not to have Morgana making ironic comments and ruling over the castle with her charms. Seeing her so calm and quiet, so _dead_, made him feel unnerved and aware that there was something missing in the air and in his life.

He missed Morgana terribly.

"Come back to me, Morgana"

**IV**

_There was laughter echoing throughout the castle walls, children's laughter. The sound of footsteps could also be heard, though not as loud as the cries of happiness and joy._

"_Come on, Arthur!" Morgana screamed at the blonde six year old who was trying to catch up with her "You run like a girl!" _

_More laughter filled the empty halls as the Pendragon children ran towards their secret hiding place._

_It was a tall willow tree just outside the castle that grew alone, separated from the rest of the flora of Camelot's beautiful gardens. They had found it one day when Morgana had stolen Arthur's new acquainted wooden sword just to have him chasing after her. Both children had been shocked to see the lonesome giant at first, Arthur had even fret at the sight of it, but Morgana had mocked his cowardice and stepped closer to it. If the little Prince wanted to prove his courage and recover his sword then he'd have to face his fear of the old tree and go after Morgana._

_He did, and after that, they adopted the old willow tree as their special secret place where no one would ever find them._

_They were returning there now because it was time for their royal bath and, since Morgana didn't want to have one, then Arthur didn't want to either. So both of them had escaped their maidservant's clutches and made a run for it._

_Morgana had arrived at the willow tree first and was now waiting for little Arthur to join her. When he did, he bent over, trying to catch his breath._

"_If it had been for you, she would have caught us" Little Morgana teased, a mockery smile adorning her beautiful features._

"_Would not" Arthur replied, taking the defensive immediately._

"_Would have" Morgana pressed, liking the red flush creeping up little Arthur's neck._

"_Would not, 'Gana" _

_Morgana's face fell as she stared at something behind her friend. Arthur was quick to follow Morgana's line of vision and then tear his gaze away from the approaching and -pretty much pissed- figure. He extended his hand to Morgana to help her up._

"_C'mon" He urged her and then moved to stand protectively in front of her._

"_Arthur I don't want to bathe" She whispered in his ear with all the drama that a five year old can muster._

"_Don't worry, 'Gana" He said, adopting his warrior tone "I'll protect you from her, you'll see"_

"_You promise?" Morgana asked, fear creeping into her voice as their maidservant drew nearer._

"_I'll always protect you, 'Gana" he said solemnly "I promise"_

_And she believed him._

**V**

A low sob escaped her lips as she suddenly awoke, bolting upright in her bed. She was trembling slightly and, as she ran a hand over her forehead, she noticed she was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

There was something wrong, terribly wrong, but she couldn't fathom what it was. It weighted in her chest, an awful feeling, of something she lost. It was making her insides crack and break, and before she could notice, she found herself wrapped up in a pair of strong arms that began to rock her soothingly.

"Shh, Morgana. It's alright" Arthur whispered, running a hand down the length of her raven locks to try to stop her sobbing.

But no, it wasn't alright and she knew it. Nothing was alright anymore and so she wept in the arms of the man who had sworn to always protect her and hadn't kept his promise.

Tremors shook her body wildly as she clung onto Arthur. He was her friend, her protector. How could he have ever failed her? What had happened between them? More importantly, why did her heart ache so much? It felt as if it had been broken but the reasons why remained hidden.

She couldn't remember what had happened to her. Her memories were blurry, and as she tried to focus on some past memory, the only thing she found was a black void, a never-ending void of blackness that swept off her memories and instead planted a frightening abyss in its place.

As she cried, Morgana felt Arthur gently rub her lower back in an attempt at calming her. She didn't want to worry him further, so she breathed out her anguish and tried to compose herself for his sake. Morgana swallowed her pain and slowly disentangled herself from Arthur's embrace to meet his eyes.

Her misty green eyes met his cerulean blues and they remained like that, staring at each other, in what it seemed to be a silent conversation in which they both expressed what they were feeling.

Arthur was the first one to move. He lifted a hand to brush a lonesome tear away from Morgana's face.

"What do you remember, Morgana?"

The intensity of his gaze made her shiver but she somehow managed to hide it.

"I-I don't know.." she was trying her hardest to remember anything, but nothing would surface "It's like all my memories had been erased from my mind"

Arthur noticed Morgana's deep frown right away, the whole situation was distressing her too much.

"I…" She continued, raising a hand to her temple "…I cannot remember anything" Morgana looked up to find Arthur staring worriedly at her. She shook her head and bit the inside of her cheek as new tears began to roll down her cheeks "I'm sorry" she murmured in a strangled voice.

Arthur brought a hand to lift Morgana's chin up and bore his eyes into hers intently.

"It's alright, Morgana" He reassured her "I'm sure your memories will come back to you soon"

Morgana dropped her head, clearly mortified, and sobbed quietly. It took Arthur but a second to draw Morgana's teary eyes back to his.

"Come" He said, drawing an arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer to his body "You need to rest"

Arthur leant back against the mattress and brought Morgana slowly down with him. She let him envelop her in a soothing embrace and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Morgana allowed her tears to flow freely down her face as Arthur stroked her arms and hair, trying to comfort her.

"Sleep, Morgana" he whispered against her hair "Everything will be better in the morning"

Morgana closed her eyes and felt Arthur tighten his hold on her. It didn't take long for Morpheus to find them.

**VI**

_She is standing alone in a massive throne room. The place is empty or so she thinks._

_She turns around, taking in the sight surrounding her. There's a yellow glow in the air and all around her. It reminds her of the depths of Avalon's lake and that time when she saw Arthur nearly drown at the hands of that girl: Sophia._

_Her attention is suddenly directed to the walls of the room. There are waves, of what she doesn't know, but they are zigzagging their way up to the roof. They move in a tranquil motion, it's almost soothingly._

_Her eyes move back to the floor, almost expecting to see Avalon's water leaping at her feet but instead she finds a flask of water lying on the ground._

_Morgana can't help but to stare at it longingly. A strange feeling creeps up her spine and makes her frown. She knows this place, she has been here before. And she knows that flask; it all feels like some sort of twisted déjà vu. She kneels before the flask and takes it in her trembling hands. Somehow she knows that this object is far more important than what the goose bumps in her skin are telling her of._

_Morgana removes the stopper slowly and brings the flask close to her nose. She tries to smell whatever the content is but bites her lip when she finds it's odorless. She is about to put the stopper back on when a calm voice behind her interrupts her, startling her in the process._

"_You should drink" the calm voice says "I know you're thirsty, Morgana" _

_She knows that voice._

_Morgana looks at the flask in her hands. She __**is**__ thirsty but she can also sense something strange in the air, a feeling that unsettles her._

"_Look at me, Morgana" He asks and Morgana finds herself turning around to look at him._

_The first thing she sees are her big blue eyes staring back at her. His irises seem to draw her in, submerge her into a sea of quietness._

_Morgana bites the inside of her cheek when she realizes that she trusts this man. It's funny because she cannot remember his name but there's something about the way he speaks to her that tells her she knows him and that she can trust him._

"_Do you know who I am, Morgana?" she shakes her head and he smiles affectionately at her "Go on, drink then" he encourages her with a wave of his hand and her resolution begins to shatter._

_He seems so innocent and so good. And she is __**so**__ thirsty. Why shouldn't she drink?_

_Morgana finds herself lifting the flask and bringing it to her already parting lips. She locks her gaze with his as she takes a long gulp._

_Suddenly, fire rages within her, it consumes her. She gasps as the flask of poison slips from her hands and falls with a dry 'thud' to the stone floor. The walls of the throne room seem to be drawing nearer, the waves swaying furiously now. She feels a cold liquid touch her feet and she looks down only to discover amber water filling the room._

_Morgana looks at the man standing before her just before the water begins to surround her. He was her friend, she can see that now. It is written all over his face. _

_Morgana brings a hand to her throat as the water in the room reach her neck. The poison is paralyzing her, stopping her from moving. _

_She is going to drown._

_Morgana whimpers desperately, her hands trying o reach the man who is about to be the death of her. But she cannot reach him. He looks at peace, as if he is about to rid the world from a devious being._

_Morgana frowns and contemplates in utter horror as the man she thought to be her friend disappears under the halo of the water's surface._

_As she slowly runs out of air she hears him speak to her "Do you know who I am, Morgana?"_

_She cannot resist anymore, the lack of oxygen is making her vision blur and her head spin around. She is dying and, as she stares at the man above the surface, she remembers._

_She remembers him and what he did to her._

_With the last vestiges of life she screams._

"Merlin!"

**X**

**Alright guys, that's as far as we get for now ;) Let me know what you think of the story so far! And a big shout out to all those who reviewed the first chapter, you guys made my day =)**

**In the next chapter Morgana confronts Merlin, Uther throws a masquerade ball to welcome his ward and an uninvited guest makes an unexpected appearance before Morgana.**


	3. Masquarade Teaser

**Warning: This is actually not a chapter but rather a small teaser of the masquerade ball. I didn't have time to write yet and im leaving on vacations tomorrow =/ but I still felt the need to post something, not matter how short it was, just so you can have something, if you know what I mean. I promise to write the chapter as soon as I get back home =) So, enjoy the teaser!**

**X**

An odd feeling prickled at the back of her head and she brusquely turned around to try and discover what it was.

The throne room was beyond crowded with people, all of them wearing masks of some sort. They were gathered there to welcome her home. A masquerade ball, Uther had called it.

Morgana had been thrilled by the idea at first but now, as she tried to make out the shapes of those around her, it didn't sound so exhilarating anymore. She didn't know why but suddenly she felt her gaze being drawn into one particular place. It was like a strong pull slowly guiding her and she couldn't fight it. The people around her began to get out of the way, as if unconsciously allowing her to look past them and straight into that woman's eyes.

Her face was hidden under a grey mask. It had a black feather on one of the sides and small white diamonds adorning the edges. She was wearing a black gown and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. She looked nothing like the rest of the guests there and Morgana felt as if she actually knew her.

Maybe that was why she suddenly found herself walking past Sir Percival and right toward the mysterious woman.

The same people that had created a perfect path to this strange person were now beginning to close in, blocking Morgana's way and also her view of the beautiful woman. Morgana couldn't simply get past the people blocking her path; it was as if they were doing it on purpose.

She could still feel the strange woman's eyes on her, even though she couldn't see her, so she kept on trying to make her way through the crowd, until she eventually got past them and found herself standing in front of the entrance of a balcony, right outside the throne room.

The woman was nowhere to be seen and Morgana felt a pang in her chest, as if she was disappointed at the stranger's disappearance. But the wind blew and the woman's black gown was made visible through the opening of the balcony, enlightening Morgana's hopes again.

She slowly stepped outside of the castle walls, the summer breeze instantly embracing her and blowing her hair into messy whirls.

Morgana stopped by the woman's side and turned her head around to look at her in the eyes. The woman didn't return her gaze; she kept on staring at the horizon as if Morgana wasn't there at all.

She knew somehow that the woman wasn't going to answer her so she decided to break the silence herself.

"Do I know you?"

"It's a warm night, don't you think?" The woman replied, ignoring Morgana's question completely. Her eyes were still lost in the horizon line.

Patience was never one of Morgana's virtues and so she grabbed the woman's arm and spun her around, forcing her to meet her eyes.

"I know you, don't I?" Morgana pressed, locking her gaze intently with the other woman's, as if trying to steal all the answers she needed from just that look.

"It's been a long time" The woman smiled warmly at her "I've missed you" She lifted her hand to tenderly cup Morgana's cheek but just when she was about to she snapped her head to the side, her eyes wildly searching for something coming from the throne room. Her hand dropped dead to her side and almost immediately she hurried back into the darkness of the halls, her silhouette disappearing completely.

Before Morgana could say anything, Arthur jumped protectively in front of her with his sword drawn and firmly clutched in his hand.

"I'll see you again soon, Morgana" The woman said from deep within the darkness and then she jumped over the balcony and disappeared in the night air.

Arthur sprung after her but he wasn't able to catch her in time. The intruder simply disappeared in front of his eyes. When he realized that the threat was gone he focused on Morgana again, his eyes quickly taking in her trembling form.

"Morgana?" He asked, trying to draw her attention back to him "Morgana, look at me" The raven haired beauty seemed to come back to earth again and slowly met Arthur's worried gaze.

Arthur could see how shaken Morgana was and his insides clenched with fury. He should have never left her alone. He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame and drew her closer to him.

Morgana allowed Arthur to pull her in for a comforting embrace, partly because she needed it and partly because she could feel her knees bucking beneath her.

There was something about this strange woman that sent her completely off balance.

As Arthur hugged Morgana he caught sight of a figure standing behind her.

"Merlin!" He called his manservant and the boy quickly stepped closer to the pair "Take the Lady Morgana to her chambers"

"Yes, sire"

"No!" Morgana cried, catching both men's attention.

"Why not?" Morgana shook her head and looked pleadingly to Arthur "Alright, I'll escort you to your chambers instead"

The walk to Morgana's chambers was a silent one, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Morgana couldn't draw her mind away from the mysterious woman and Arthur couldn't stop blaming himself for having left Morgana alone in that crowded party.

Once they got to her chambers, Morgana got under the sheets and Arthur blew the candle. When he saw she was safely tucked under her bed he turned to leave, but Morgana's voice made him stop in place.

"Arthur?" She asked tentatively, her voice cracking slightly.

"Yes?"

"Please stay until I fall asleep?"

And he does.

**Oki guys, that's the end of the teaser. I'll write the proper chapter when I get back from my holidays =) I would really appreciate it if you could tell me what you think of the story so far since im kind of uncertain as to whether I should continue this or not. So if you could let me know, you'd be saving some lives! (okay not really haha) Happy New Year to all of you!**


	4. Masquarade Ball

**My sincerest apologies for the super late update. I have been struggling with my finals plus got wrapped up in another fics. But! I am making it up to you with this 3.500 words long chapter that I hope you'll enjoy. Morgana finally confronts Merlin and an important character appears that will be crucial in this story. Enjoy!**

**I**

"Merlin!" Morgana bolted upright in her bed, panting heavily. A thin layer of sweat was covering her body, causing her hair to glue to her skin.

She brought a hand to her chest, unconsciously admonishing the frantic bumping of her heart, and then looked around. Arthur was lying sound asleep in the small bed next to her. Apparently the prince was so tired that he hadn't heard her screaming.

Morgana bent over his peaceful figure and slowly traced her knuckles alongside his cheek. A wave of extreme gratitude washed over her as she contemplated the man who had found her and rescued her from that pitiful existence she had been carrying for the past year. Even though she couldn't remember exactly all that had happened or how she had ended up in that gloomy and desolated forest, she could tell merely by her present state that the past year's events hadn't been precisely lady-like. The hardships she must have endured had possibly scarred her for life since she couldn't seem to remember anything from that year. Anything except… _Merlin_.

Morgana promptly stood up and crossed the room as fast as a lightning bolt. She gathered her scattered clothing and got dressed. As soon as she was out of the room she began running down the hall. People and servants, both in equals amounts, stopped whatever they were doing to greet the King's ward but Morgana didn't even acknowledge them. She had to find Merlin and she had to find him now.

Flashes of that dark day when Camelot was enchanted and submitted to magic's will coursed through her mind. Merlin… how could he have done it? How could he have betrayed her like that?.

Morgana was so submerged into her own mind and thoughts that she didn't see the figure appearing from behind a corner and she bumped into him, colliding with his body and landing flat on her back with a loud '_thud_'.

"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Here, take my hand"

Morgana took the offered hand without a second thought and was easily lifted to her feet. When she raised her eyes to meet the man standing before her, her heart skipped a beat. _Merlin_.

"You" She breathed out, suddenly at a loss of words.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Morgana. I-I was taking Arthur's clothes to the laundry room and wasn't really paying too much attention. So then you appeared and"

"Merlin, stop" Morgana interrupted him in mid sentence. She had no time for his rambling right now. She had to know the truth.

"Sorry" He said, eyes casted downwards "But I really didn't mean to collide with you like that"

He sounded truly sorry and, for a moment, her resolution faded. But only for a moment. She was Morgana Le Fay, the King's ward, and nothing ever escaped her. This boy wouldn't be the exception.

"Merlin" she said, catching his full attention "I know what you did" Morgana stopped speaking at that moment to analyze Merlin's expression. She had always said that an image was worth a thousand words and, at that precise moment, she had never meant it as much. All the feelings that passed through Merlin's eyes were a clear proof that, not only her dream was true, but also that he knew what she was talking about.

"I…" Merlin swallowed, he had never seen this coming and he suddenly feared for his life "I didn't mean to"

He said it in such a low voice that Morgana had trouble hearing him at all, but she had. His words said one thing yet he had done exactly the opposite.

"You tried to poison me" Suddenly, tears began to well up in her eyes as the truth she didn't want to admit weighted on her mind. This boy before her, whom she had called her friend, whom she had confided her secrets in, had betrayed her in the worst possible way: he had tried to kill her.

Merlin seemed to be frozen in place; he could only stare into those beautiful sea green eyes without believing what was happening and what he had done to her. She was right, he had tried to kill her but he had failed and now, now he would pay the price of that. Surely Uther would have him executed by dawn, but he didn't care because nothing could hurt as much as knowing he had tried to kill his friend.

"I'm so sorry, Morgana" He whispered, eyes boring pleadingly into hers, begging for her forgiveness "I'm so, so sorry" Out of pure impulse, Merlin took a step forward and grabbed Morgana's forearm.

Morgana hadn't anticipated his move and, suddenly, she was afraid. She could no longer trust him, let alone be sure of his true motives. That's why she tried to jerk away from his grasp but Merlin didn't let go of her. On the contrary, her movement only served for him to get a better grip on her.

"Let go of me" Morgana ordered but Merlin was too lost in his own guilt so as to hear her.

"I'm so sorry, Morgana. Please, Morgana. You have to forgive me, you have to…"

"Let me go, Merlin!"

"Please, Morgana. Forgive me, please forgive…."

"LET ME GO!"

Merlin had Morgana cornered against a stone column when Arthur burst into the scene.

"What's going on here?" He asked, a deep frown adorning his normally relaxed features. He couldn't help gripping the tilt of his sword in one hand as he took in the sight before him. Merlin was cornering Morgana against a pillar and she looked clearly upset "Merlin, let her go"

The young warlock turned his head over his shoulder to glance back at his Prince. He suddenly seemed to realize that he was harassing Morgana and let the arm he was using to trap the girl drop to his side.

It took Morgana but a second to run to Arthur's side, who gave her a worriedly look.

"Morgana, are you alright?" The Prince asked her and, for a minute, Morgana stayed silent. She was staring at Merlin who was staring back at her in return. A look of pure regret adorned his face; he even seemed to have shrunk a little as the weight of the guilt he felt heaved on his shoulders "Morgana?" Arthur repeated, snapping her from her absorption "are you alright?"

Morgana nodded her head "Yes, I'm fine. Merlin and I were just talking" Arthur didn't seem to believe her much so she pressed on "I'm perfectly alright, Arthur. Really"

Finally, the Prince seemed to relax and he nodded his head once in subtle acknowledgment "Merlin, don't stand there doing nothing!" The young warlock jumped a little at the sudden order "Go do something productive like… I don't know. Those things you servants do for a living"

Merlin would have come up with a perfect comeback for the Prince's words if only he weren't feeling like he was breaking inside. Instead, he nodded his head and left in the same way he had come from.

Arthur followed his manservant's figure until it disappeared behind the corner. His frown hadn't still dissipated.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked, more to himself than anything.

"Who knows?" Morgana replied, staring at the corner herself as well "Maybe he made a huge mistake and now truth is gnawing on him"

Arthur snapped his head back to Morgana, frowning even deeper "What?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Oh nothing" She said. She hadn't noticed she had said that out loud "I was just teasing you. You seem so worried about him. If I didn't know you any better I'd say that you have used this year that I've been gone from to become friends with him" The mockery tone she used made Arthur forget her absentminded comment and, instead, smug at her.

"Come. Father's sent me to find you. He says he has a gift for you" And just like that the pair left to find the King.

**II**

"A masquerade ball" Morgana repeated for the third time as she stared at her maid, who was walking around the chamber completely focused on the task at hand "Gwen, can you believe that?" Finally, her maid seemed to find a second to turn her head around her shoulder and glance at the distressed girl sitting on the bed.

"He's missed you" Gwen said, looking straight into Morgana's eyes as if to emphasize her words "We all did" The raven haired beauty hung her head, possibly mortified, and stared at the floor "Besides, you love being the soul of the party and with this dress you'll shine" Gwen laid out a white dress with golden decorations she had picked out for Morgana and stood further from the girl, who was already hovering over it with a huge grin on her face.

"Gwen, I love it!" She exclaimed, joy once again shining in her eyes "Now we have to pick a dress for _you_"

**III**

He was pretending to watch the party and all those joyfully dancing around him but, truthfully, he wasn't. He was actually staring at a particular couple on the dance floor; more specifically, he was staring at _her_: Morgana.

He was so lost in his thoughts and in the woman dancing in the arms of the Prince of Camelot that he didn't see Gaius stopping by his side.

"Everything alright, Merlin?" the old physician asked, honestly concerned "You look… distracted"

Merlin dedicated his old mentor a quick glance and then went back to staring at Morgana, who was now laughing at some joke Arthur had made.

"Uhm yes… I think" He replied, frowning when Arthur slightly bowed before his dancing companion and handed her over to another knight for a dance.

"There's something troubling you, my boy. I can see it"

Merlin's eyes followed the Prince as he moved around the room and made his way to the table to fetch himself and Morgana a drink.

"She came to me, Gaius" Merlin said in a dead tone.

The physician's eyes tracked down Merlin's gaze and landed on the figure of the Lady Morgana, currently dancing with Sir Percival.

"She _knows_"

**IV**

She had been sitting in her chair at the left side of the King's throne during most of the ball. She loved dancing, she always had, but her memories were a liquid pool of confusion and, at the moment, the only people she remembered were Uther, Arthur, Gwen, Gaius and Merlin. That didn't leave many potential dancing partners and she wasn't feeling too secure as to dance with anyone else, so that left her right where she was: in her chair, contemplating all the guests that had come to the masquerade ball in her honor.

That was, at least, until a hand appeared in front of her face, blocking her vision and catching her by surprise. When Morgana raised her eyes she found Arthur, looking at her rather bemused, his hand extended for hers to take.

"I wonder where your cavalry is, Arthur" she said teasingly but took the offered hand with a smile.

The Prince led her in silence through the thick mass of people crowding the throne room and stopped as soon as he found a small place to move around.

"May I have the honor of dancing this piece with you, My Lady?" He asked, his mocking tone well hidden but very visible in the sparkle of his eyes.

Morgana shook her head and tried to diminish her smile. He was _always_ like that.

She took his hand once more and bore his eyes into his.

"You may, My Lord" The intensity of her gaze erased Arthur's mocking smile and instead left him rather speechless. She could literally wipe out any supremacy from a man with that look and he was no exception.

A vivid and happy tune began to play and Arthur used that fraction of a moment to grab Morgana by the waist with one hand, her hand with another, and begin to waltz by the rhythm of the music.

He was a good dancer, she thought, as he led her harmoniously across the dance floor. Or maybe he was a _great_ dancer, because suddenly all eyes were on them as they moved around graciously, stealing breaths both from princesses and Lords.

"You _are_ aware that they are all looking at us, right?" she mumbled from under her breath, not wanting to be heard by the surrounding guests.

Arthur merely laughed and spun her around without a warning; catching Morgana by surprise and making her grab a tighter hold onto Arthur. He laughed harder at her surprise but then took pity on her and led her easily down the rest of the tune.

When the melody changed into a slow one, Arthur stopped to look at her in the eyes.

"Morgana, you look as if you had danced through the entire night" He said, feigning concern "One might think that you weren't prepared to dance with such a talented person as I am" He mocked, leaning dangerously close to her to accentuate his joke.

Morgana made a good use of his closeness to suddenly pinch his nose, what made Arthur jump back and lose his victorious grin.

"Oh Arthur, you look like you have just been surprised by my _wicked_ hand" Morgana replied and then burst into laughter, quickly followed by one of Arthur's wide grins.

The pair was interrupted when Sir Percival made his way through the crowd to stand before them. He exchanged a knowing look with Arthur and then bowed his head to Morgana, who was looking at him rather bemused.

Sir Percival extended his hand to Morgana and, with his head still bowed; he asked "Would you grant me the honor of your company and grace through this piece, M'Lady?"

Morgana threw a pointedly look to Arthur who just shrugged and then extended her hand back to him.

"It will be my pleasure, Sir Percival" Morgana took the knight's hand and then faced Arthur.

"I'll go get us some drinks" He said and then leant his head slightly to indicate Sir Percival that he could take Morgana for a dance.

**V**

An odd feeling prickled at the back of her head and she brusquely turned around to try and discover what it was.

The throne room was beyond crowded with people, all of them wearing masks of some sort. They were gathered there to welcome her home. A masquerade ball, Uther had called it.

Morgana had been thrilled by the idea at first but now, as she tried to make out the shapes of those around her, it didn't sound so exhilarating anymore. She didn't know why but suddenly she felt her gaze being drawn into one particular place. It was like a strong pull slowly guiding her and she couldn't fight it. The people around her began to get out of the way, as if unconsciously allowing her to look past them and straight into that woman's eyes.

Her face was hidden under a grey mask. It had a black feather on one of the sides and small white diamonds adorning the edges. She was wearing a black gown and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. She looked nothing like the rest of the guests there and Morgana felt as if she actually knew her.

Maybe that was why she suddenly found herself walking past Sir Percival and right toward the mysterious woman.

The same people that had created a perfect path to this strange person were now beginning to close in, blocking Morgana's way and also her view of the beautiful woman. Morgana couldn't simply get past the people blocking her path; it was as if they were doing it on purpose.

She could still feel the strange woman's eyes on her, even though she couldn't see her, so she kept on trying to make her way through the crowd, until she eventually got past them and found herself standing in front of the entrance of a balcony, right outside the throne room.

The woman was nowhere to be seen and Morgana felt a pang in her chest, as if she was disappointed by the stranger's disappearance. But the wind blew and the woman's black gown was made visible through the opening of the balcony, lifting Morgana's hopes again.

She slowly stepped outside of the castle walls, the summer breeze instantly embracing her and blowing her hair into messy whirls.

Morgana stopped by the woman's side and turned her head around to look at her in the eyes. The woman didn't return her gaze; she kept on staring at the horizon as if Morgana wasn't there at all.

She knew somehow that the woman wasn't going to answer her so she decided to break the silence herself.

"Do I know you?"

"It's a warm night, don't you think?" The woman replied, ignoring Morgana's question completely. Her eyes were still lost in the horizon line.

Patience was never one of Morgana's virtues and so she grabbed the woman's arm and spun her around, forcing her to meet her eyes.

"I know you, don't I?" Morgana pressed, locking her gaze intently with the other woman's, as if trying to steal all the answers she needed from just that one look.

"It's been a long time" The woman smiled warmly at her "I've missed you" She lifted her hand to tenderly cup Morgana's cheek but, just when she was about to, she snapped her head to the side, her eyes wildly searching for something coming from the throne room. Her hand dropped dead by her side and almost immediately she hurried back into the darkness of the halls, her silhouette disappearing completely.

Before Morgana could say anything, Arthur jumped protectively in front of her with his sword drawn and firmly clutched in his hand.

"I'll see you again soon, Morgana" The woman said from deep within the darkness and then she jumped over the balcony and disappeared in the night air.

Arthur sprung after her but he wasn't able to catch her in time. The intruder simply disappeared in front of his eyes. When he realized that the threat was gone he focused on Morgana again, his eyes quickly taking in her trembling form.

"Morgana?" He asked, trying to draw her attention back to him "Morgana, look at me" The raven haired beauty seemed to come back to earth again and slowly met Arthur's worried gaze.

Arthur could see how shaken Morgana was and his insides clenched with fury. He should have never left her alone. He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame and drew her closer to him.

Morgana allowed Arthur to pull her in for a comforting embrace, partly because she needed it and partly because she could feel her knees bucking beneath her.

There was something about this strange woman that sent her completely off balance.

As Arthur hugged Morgana he caught sight of a figure standing behind her.

"Merlin!" He called his manservant and the boy quickly stepped closer to the pair "Take the Lady Morgana to her chambers"

"Yes, sire"

"No!" Morgana cried, catching both men's attention.

"Why not?" Morgana shook her head and looked pleadingly to Arthur "Alright, I'll escort you to your chambers instead"

The walk to Morgana's chambers was a silent one, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Morgana couldn't draw her mind away from the mysterious woman and Arthur couldn't stop blaming himself for having left Morgana alone in that crowded party.

Once they got to her chambers, Morgana got under the sheets and Arthur blew out the candle. When he saw she was safely tucked under the sheets he turned to leave, but Morgana's voice made him stop in place.

"Arthur?" She asked tentatively, her voice cracking slightly.

"Yes?"

"Please stay until I fall asleep?"

And he stays.

**FIN**

**Everything is slowly beginning to fit together as Morgana gathers the pieces of this puzzle. Who is the mysterious woman? And what does she want with Morgana?**

**More will be revealed in the next chapter so stay tuned and review if you want me to update faster. You know how it goes, reviews are my fuel. The more I get, the faster I write ;)**


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